Saturday, December 31, 2016

Do I Think I’m Brave?

What does that even mean? Does that mean I’m a thrill seeker and will do stuff like zipline from a really high elevation? Does that mean I’ll take a bullet for the President?

Am I a risk taker?

I think by asking these questions, I know that I am most certainly not brave in any way shape or form. Confidence is key and that is something that I lack. I believe that a person can lose the bravery quality when being brave in the first place gets them nowhere. This is where I come in.

Sometimes it’s good to go in without thinking about the consequences. That way you don't psych yourself out. Though years and years of your “bravery” ends up with shot up confidence, there’s no real incentive to put on that “brave face”.

I’m nervous. I’m a coward. I won’t kill that bug for you. Sorry, ladies. I will probably take a bullet for you, though, but that’s only because… yeah, you can fill in the blank.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

How I Use Facebook

Using Facebook is easy. You just post stuff that no one cares about. Then the stuff people actually care about they’ll try and argue with you the whole time until you’re not friends anymore. Wait, isn’t that how politics work?

I like seeing updates about people's’ lives through the form of photos or some real concrete status update. Then I can feel sad for a few moments about how my life is nowhere as amazing as theirs and then make fun of myself for being stuck in the pit that is nothingness.

Other than that, my typical uses of Facebook are to link to my post blog posts (like this one), make fun of and devalue myself, and, well, I guess that’s it. People like it when you make fun of yourself because they think it’s funny. Since this is the internet and tone is hard to interpret, they can’t tell how serious you’re taking your own joke. Just remember though. Your Facebook posts are like Google searches. You’ve only got seconds in order to get people's’ attention on your post. Better make it good. Or you’ll end up like me. Swept up in the news feed, only to be seen when someone decides to remember you and visit your profile for less than 3 seconds.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Types of Feedback for Improvement

I’ve learned that harsh criticism is the best type of feedback for improvement. How are you going to take your faults seriously if someone doesn’t nitpick it for you? I learned this from running. I could run the best race of my life, but there’s always something wrong with it. There is always something to work on. This applies to everything.

Your bad grade in school could be, in itself, a criticism of how hard you worked to test yourself on your knowledge at the subject at hand. Then again, you could be terrible at tests like me and just be a failure because you can’t take tests.

What about work? Everything you do could potentially be critiqued. It could be changed in a myriad of ways because one person wants it done this way and the person wants it done the other way. Though the real feedback you get is in your employee review. They might butter up some things, but the criticism is meant to groom you to be the best you can be.

Though in my case, I don’t know how you much better you can get at being completely useless.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

What I’d Do If I Won the Lottery

Well, I’d better win it fast because I only plan to be around until I’m 40.

I mean, winning the lottery isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway. Once you get it, you’ll probably pay taxes up the butt.

I wouldn’t quit my job (unless it was a job I absolutely hated). I’d probably work part time and take a reduced salary (if both those things are allowed) because I got to keep busy somehow so I can keep myself honest and blow the entire winning away.

It would make traveling alone a lot easier. Why? Well, if you have gotten to know me pretty well, there are a lot of things that sound stupid to do alone. Traveling is one of them. Seems boring. I’ll just watch 4k videos of the Grand Canyon instead of doing it myself. It’s not fun if you can’t share the memory with anyone. I don’t have anyone, remember?

Then there’s the whole question of charity. Are there places I would give back to? Maybe when I’m closer to 40 because I wouldn’t be around to enjoy the rest of the money. Some programs to promote running and such would probably be good. No sleazeball politician will get get that money.

So I only got 16 years left to win the lottery. My luck better come fast.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Unknowingly Submitting to Peer Pressure

I don’t know if I could think of a specific example, but I must do this all the time as my way of not caring. Don’t worry, I still vaguely know the “8 Ways to Say No”.

It’s probably something so stupidly against my moral compass like drinking alcohol underage in college or taking a puff of a cheap, shitty cigar in college. Because all I wanted to do in college was resist drugs and alcohol (not calling a cigar a drug). Thanks, D.A.R.E. officers. You’re great.

I think the point of unknowingly submitting to peer pressure is the unknowingly part. You’re not aware. Maybe you’re just really nice and social and willing to do what everyone else is doing. Or you just don’t care enough and have no moral compass and just goes with the flow. I don’t now. Are these the cases?

Is it peer pressure still if it’s coming from your friends? I think that makes it easier to unknowingly submit. You’re too comfortable around them so it might hard to distinguish what event is out of place.

I’ll think about this for a while. Well, probably for like 3 seconds before I post this. Not a big deal.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Do I Ever Feel Overlooked and Underappreciated?

This is going to be one of those things that I believe is true, but lots of evidence can prove otherwise. Isn’t that weird? To be aware of something that is completely true, but feel the opposite of that truth?

This is like being the last person to be picked on the kickball team at the park. Because no one really wants you on their team. Then when you are on the “unfortunate” team, you basically aren’t treated as a team member at all.

I’m one of those people who believes they’re not valued because their opinions don’t matter. You try to open up and all you do is get shut down. Instead of wasting words trying to have people take in your thoughts and opinions, it might be best to not have them at all.

I’ve always considered myself a hard worker. Though it’s very rare that hard work ever gets you the attention and the appreciation that you’d think you deserve culturally. You might be overshadowed by the other guy who possibly could have worked just a bit harder than you, or one with such natural talent at something that they could get it done more quickly than you. Though, if I’m working hard to get recognize, then that’s already my first mistake. Recognition should be the first reason for your hard work.

It all goes into my older statements about setting very low expectations. I don’t think I’m going to be recognized for anything, no matter how hard I work. When I do, it almost feels as if it’s out of place. The universe is somehow unbalanced due to giving me recognition. While it may be appreciated, it doesn’t make me any happier anyway because of setting those low expectations. Now you may think I’m just being humble, due to my lack of enthusiasm with things like these. Well, there’s always someone bigger and better than you are and I just think everyone is bigger and better than I am.

It used to hurt, a lot. Almost as if someone took credit for something you did. Now, it’s not so bad. My world view thinks that I am overlooked and underappreciated because I don’t deserve appreciation. I still haven’t changed my ways of thinking that the world is somehow working against me. Maybe I’m just not working hard enough, but I’m not working hard for attention, am I?

I think I need to stop writing. It’s not making sense now. I think I screwed this topic up.