How I Use Facebook

Using Facebook is easy. You just post stuff that no one cares about. Then the stuff people actually care about they’ll try and argue with you the whole time until you’re not friends anymore. Wait, isn’t that how politics work?

I like seeing updates about people's’ lives through the form of photos or some real concrete status update. Then I can feel sad for a few moments about how my life is nowhere as amazing as theirs and then make fun of myself for being stuck in the pit that is nothingness.

Other than that, my typical uses of Facebook are to link to my post blog posts (like this one), make fun of and devalue myself, and, well, I guess that’s it. People like it when you make fun of yourself because they think it’s funny. Since this is the internet and tone is hard to interpret, they can’t tell how serious you’re taking your own joke. Just remember though. Your Facebook posts are like Google searches. You’ve only got seconds in order to get people's’ attention on your post. Better make it good. Or you’ll end up like me. Swept up in the news feed, only to be seen when someone decides to remember you and visit your profile for less than 3 seconds.